After reading this post, you'll probably roll your eyes and grin at the sudden "new" "discovery" I made the other day. But I haven't revealed it yet, so you may as well enjoy this in good humor. As another caveat, please don't think I'm boy-crazy after reading this post. It's just when inspiration hits, you can hardly say no.
I have a facebook, you know. I have a friend who had her picture taken with the lead guitarist of some grunge band I've never heard of. The caption on the picture was something to the effect of "so hawt!" When I looked at the picture, I did a double take. Then I did another. While my friend is quite beautiful, the man she was posing with was not someone I would look at and think "Wow, he's so attractive." The same goes for pretty much every band I've ever run across.
Take Muse, for instance. The lead singer, Matt Bellamy, is scrawny. He has a big nose, and his eyes seem to disappear under his brow line. In no way "attractive," "beautiful," or even "hawt." At least, not in pictures. You see, I finally looked up a music video of Muse. Before starting it, I read some comments to the effect of "I am extremely attracted to Matt Bellamy and want to marry him."
Yes, I edited that. I don't enjoy the crudity and unoriginality of Youtube comments. But that's beside the point.
Before watching the video, I'd only seen a picture of Muse and found them decidedly unattractive, despite their incredible music.But then I watched the music video. I was captivated. This man, who has no conventional beauty, was transformed into a fascinating, larger-than-life creature with the most hypnotic presence I've ever encountered. It was achingly beautiful. The comments suddenly made sense.
I'm not saying I'm attracted to Muse. But I think I'm on to something. Because after this realization, I started noticing the guys I'm around a lot, especially the ones girls tend to congregate around. None of them are what Western culture generally considers classically handsome.
Some of them are shorter or lighter-weight than I am ( which is saying something, since I'm 5'5" and 130 lbs). Some of them have facial hair, which isn't fashionable. Some have horrible attitudes. Now, putting aside the cliche of "all girls like bad boys" (which, for my male audience, is a lie. If you want explanation, shoot me an email), the one thing these popular male friends of mine have in common is their charisma.
All of these guys, be it Muse or Escapist or DinosaurMan or Thursday or SirSarcasm or Calvin (or you get the idea), have captivating personalities. When they walk into the room, there's a distinct air of possession that comes with them. The persona is almost overwhelming if you stop to think about it. It's not necessarily arrogant, or cocky, or even annoying. But the person is completely *there*.
That's my "new" "idea." Attraction has next to nothing to do with looks. I know that personally, the guys that I've been attracted to in the past are, quite frankly, ugly. But their personalities completely overshadow the lack of beauty. This is not to say that I am secretly attracted to the guys I listed in the previous paragraph - because I'm not - but they have this charisma in common. It's interesting, and frankly a little weird.
I took so long writing this post that I forgot where I was going with it. In all likelihood, it was going to be something moralicious about having an attractive personality and possessing inner beauty, but I got interested in other things. Point is, I have finished another people-watching project. And this was the result. Hopefully you're not too creeped out about me. :)
B
Please tell me you invented the term "moralicious", because that would be awesome!
ReplyDeleteEither way, this was a thought provoking post.
Thanks for sharing
Its true....the few guys I've liked, its been because of their personalities - charisma. The attraction has followed, but not because of their looks.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post, one that I think a lot of people would be benifited by reading. Though I would comment that even personality isn't enough to out weigh the problems of allowing yourself to get involved with someone who believes differently to you.
ReplyDelete