03 February 2010

Igor

For your reading pleasure, I present you a transcript of tonight's Happy Hour. You see, tonight I :ahem: returned to my roots.

Problematic: Hey, Mom! I've got arms!
Mom: [nonplussed]
Problematic: You know what you do with arms?
Mom: What?
Problematic: Hugs! Free Hugs!!! [tackles Mom]

Problematic: Hey, Dad! I've got arms!
Dad: Why is it that when I've got work to do, all the bugs come out of the woodwork?
Problematic: [hangs on Dad] Hey, I like cheese!
Dad: Yes, squirt, I know.
Problematic: [sings] I like cheese, I like cheese, I like cheese.
Dad: Who put a quarter in her?
Problematic:[turns to Mom, rasps] I like cheese.
Mom: Trees?
Problematic: [croaks] I like trees. Do you like trees? 'Cause I like them. A lot. Do you like trees?
Dad: [Getting out Peanut Butter] Good thing you live in the Pacific Northwest.
Problematic:[galumphes to Dad] I like trees. Do you? Trees are my friends. 

Dad: Hey,  come back!
Problematic: I like trees, I like trees a lot. Do you? You should.
Dad: [tries to smear Problematic's face with Peanut Butter]
Problematic: [Hanging on Dad] Igor likes peanut butter too. Igor likes trees... and peanut butter... a lot! Do you like peanut butter? O-ho-ho... Peanutty buttery peanut butter. Igor likes a lot!
Dad: [going to living room] Weirdo.
Problematic: [Galumphing and scurrying towards Dad] Do you know why Igor likes peanut butter? Because peanut butter is nutty!
Dad: Like Igor!
Problematic: [chortles]O-ho-ho-ho. Very smart, funny man. Igor is nutty... Yes, yes, we are! Igor is a nut, just like... PEANUT BUTTER!!! And trees. Igor likes trees, too. Do you know why we like trees? Because trees are nutty, too!
Mom: Don't you mean woody?
Problematic: [bug-eyed] Igor always says what Igor means to say!
Dad: Didn't you say you liked cheese, originally?
Problematic: Of course, Igor likes cheese. Cheese. Is. Nutty! Nutty, just like Igor! And Trees! And Peanuuuuuutttt Buuuuuttterrrrr!!! [jumps around]


Preposterous B

4 comments:

  1. I probably should add a warning to this post: There's a reason I don't get psychotic around my friends. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. HAHAHHAA! I love that. Best post ever.

    ~Kendra

    ReplyDelete