I love coop B. I really do. Even though I have no right being there on Wednesdays, I am still attached to it.
Something tells me I ought to stop making a public spectacle of myself when I get there, but in my defense: Ntropy made me do it. Well, not made me, but inspired me. Inspiration, to an artist, is the same thing as a force.
You know what we did today? Today, we figured out how to walk on the ceiling. And we got ZachIsACucumber to do it with us. So we walked on the ceiling up stairs, down corridors, and then tried it outside. It's best in corridors, but outside, you feel like you're floating. Unfortunately, people noticed.
Something tells me I ought to stop. But it's so fun to do. !
B
Showing posts with label Fits of Folly. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fits of Folly. Show all posts
13 January 2010
10 January 2010
Defenestration
Today I was defenstrated. I then defenestrated a few of my friends. It happened at church. We all enjoyed ourselves.
B
B
25 December 2009
Merry Christmas!
As I write this, cries of "Look! A Large Ham!" resound through the house. It is my own dear brother carrying on a time honored tradition of hamming up the holidays. It started a few days ago, and likely will continue for a few more. I was working on a heartwarming Christmas gift post for my friends, serenaded by such hammy comments, when my email reloaded and I found an email from my friend Cassandra. Inside was a heartwarming Christmas gift for her friends. Which happened to be the same thing I've been working on. Bother.
Being the rather contrary person I am, this new development made me seriously consider not publishing this. After all, I can pride myself on *not* following trends. But then I reminded myself: I've been working on this for a couple days, so I may just as well publish it. Therefore, I present my heartwarming Christmas gift post for my friends:
In alphabetical order:
Bracie - Some days at church, I wonder if I'm not related to you. Unbiological sisters, almost. I like the sound of that.Whether it's singing "Holding out for a Hero" at the top of our voices while cleaning the sanctuary, or giggling over some new source of hilarity, or having serious discussions about capital punishment, we always seem to jive. But probably what I appreciate most about you is that you're gentle, and a lady of quality. That's a hard trait to find these days. It makes you even more beautiful because of it. Outer beauty + Inner beauty = Bracie, a dear, kindred spirit.
Cassandra - It's been said that the eyes are the window to the soul. One look at your eyes, Cassandra, and anyone can tell you have your heart in the right place. Seriously. While we've only spent much time together in the past month since Thanksgiving (:P) , I have really appreciated earning your friendship. You have a sense of humor that is mild, but funny, and your smile is always rewarding. ;)
Dory - How do you describe a problem like my Dory? With lots of Monk, caffeine, and impromptu harp caterwauling. And by the way, the caterwauling does not refer to your talent on the beautiful instrument. . It's incredible what we've gone through - from non-percolating coffee to late night Monk marathons, to mouthing off in choir. To adults, you're a sweet, gentle, kind girl, but I - I know the real you. Yes, you're sweet, gentle, and kind, but you've also got a killer sense of humor, amazing musical talent, and a certain affinity for officers. And yes, you do look like a Celtic Shield Maiden. It's on the record now. ;) Live long and prosper, my friend.
Escapist -Every once in a while, we meet people with whom it is easy to relate. You are one of them. As Cassandra put it, quite aptly, you are a "brother in Christ." You are witty, intelligent, considerate, and pretty awesome. Not to mention imaginative. :P It's easy to talk with you, though it sometimes ranges well into goth-talk. But hey, if you didn't have goth elements, you'd be a very different person indeed. I appreciate your friendship. Thank you.
Jedi Gerbil - I've known you for the last two feet. What has it been, seven years? You were the first homeschooler I ever knew, and that's a good thing. Your sense of humor is amazingly dry, and your wit flows with such panache it's astounding. I can still remember that time we talked about cold fusion for what - 45 minutes? - just to bore our eavesdroppers. While those fun discussions were, well, fun, our serious talks have never failed to show another, more thoughtful side to you. You're a great philosopher, diplomat, and more importantly, a friend. This year, let's practice being extroverts, neh?
Keilah - Let's face it: You're gorgeous - inside and out. I have to admit, you've been a role model for me. Whenever I talk to you, you inspire me with your heart for homemaking, be it cooking, looking after your little siblings, and generally being a Proverbs 31 woman. Your gentle wit and earnest heart are evident in any area you are found, even when cooking for a bunch of 'savages' at a Productive Fellowships. I hope to know you so much better this time next year, and I look forward to continuing our friendship.
Libby - Libby, let's redeem Converse together! You are a ton of fun to be around. From teaching me the basics of football from an opposing team, to wandering the halls of the CMS, we've had some interesting times together. And, of course, the obligatory raves about Chucks. You are ingenious, always coming up with clever, creative, and imaginative ideas and topics. And your paintings really are beautifully introspective.Your art is a true reflection of yourself: introspective, clever, brilliant, and beautiful. Rock on, Libby.
NtropyNcarnate - Bonkers. Batty. Brilliant. Beautiful. Oh, and amazing, alliterative, polyglottal and precious. Melon head, es lusus naturae. Whether you plot in study hall, or run up and down hallways chasing invisible aliens, or sit and translate the Grinchus, or watch Dark Musicals with me, I enjoy every minute of it. And those cookies? Nom nom nom... Your melodramatic, musical, and memorable musings on subjects from Latin horror movies to auto care and linguistics always make my day. And I'm thankful for every minute of our Latin classes, all five years of them.
Ophelia - How exactly does one approach describing Ophelia? There's a certain dash of whimsy, a certain dash of romanticism, and a large dash of fun involved. Cartwheeling at church, having snowball fights, and discussing the relative merits of various female singers, are all memories I've shared with you. You're beautiful, inside and out. You're fun, interesting, smart, and imaginative. I've so enjoyed getting to know you this year. It seems like I've known you forever.
Peach - Peach, you're amazing. You're creative, musical, funny, and pretty awesome to be around. From downing eggnog like whiskey to "Hi, I'm Awkward" conversations, we've had some interesting times. I enjoy how easy you are to talk too, as well as your wisdom. You're beautiful, inside and out. I hope I can see more of you this upcoming year.
Pipsqueak - Pipsqueak, my dear little Hobbit, you're hilarious.You really are. You're teasable, you're lovable, you're hang-out-able, and generally, personable. You're beautiful, Asian (Ow, don't kill me!), and very fun to be around. I love hanging out with you in Biology, and I can't wait for New Year's! Your beautiful personality and smile will be the first thing anyone notices, just asl long as you don't tell them about your love of German Shepherds, leather boots, jacket, and German. Whoops. No, no the pillow! Ouch!
Qwip - I remember when I first joined NCFCA, I saw you at a National Open, and I thought "Wow, that's one of the cool people." Little did I guess that three years later, I'd count you among my close friends. You really have a passion for the ludicrous, and that makes any interactions with you quite interesting. Actually, I really enjoy conversations with you because they can quite literally swing in any direction. You're interesting, clever, considerate, and entertaining (and handsome ;P). Take your pick as to which adjective you prefer.
Specs - Ah Specs, Specs, Specs. You, my friend, are an anamoly - in the best of ways, of course. I can quite honestly say that I know no other conservative, Christian actress who is perfectly at home in front of an audience and groups of hyperactive teenaged speakers. You're someone I've known forever, though that's only been five years. You're stunningly gorgeous, inside and out, and your dry sarcasm compliments your speech. Truly your speech is seasoned with salt. I'd even go so far as to say that you are "as shrewd as a serpent, and as gentle as a dove." Got to love that, right?
Unexpected Song - You're logical, beautiful, unique, well-read, and simply lovely. Whether you're owning the Apologetics event or discussing late night gal topics, you come off as a thoughtful individual. You always provide important and interesting insights, and I value your trust and friendship. It's such a pity we don't see each other often this year, and I look forward to spending time with you this upcoming year. May the light of Heaven shine on your path.
Maybe tomorrow I'll post about what my family did. But for tonight, that's all.
~~MERRY CHRISTMAS!!~~
B
Being the rather contrary person I am, this new development made me seriously consider not publishing this. After all, I can pride myself on *not* following trends. But then I reminded myself: I've been working on this for a couple days, so I may just as well publish it. Therefore, I present my heartwarming Christmas gift post for my friends:
In alphabetical order:
Bracie - Some days at church, I wonder if I'm not related to you. Unbiological sisters, almost. I like the sound of that.Whether it's singing "Holding out for a Hero" at the top of our voices while cleaning the sanctuary, or giggling over some new source of hilarity, or having serious discussions about capital punishment, we always seem to jive. But probably what I appreciate most about you is that you're gentle, and a lady of quality. That's a hard trait to find these days. It makes you even more beautiful because of it. Outer beauty + Inner beauty = Bracie, a dear, kindred spirit.
Cassandra - It's been said that the eyes are the window to the soul. One look at your eyes, Cassandra, and anyone can tell you have your heart in the right place. Seriously. While we've only spent much time together in the past month since Thanksgiving (:P) , I have really appreciated earning your friendship. You have a sense of humor that is mild, but funny, and your smile is always rewarding. ;)
Dory - How do you describe a problem like my Dory? With lots of Monk, caffeine, and impromptu harp caterwauling. And by the way, the caterwauling does not refer to your talent on the beautiful instrument. . It's incredible what we've gone through - from non-percolating coffee to late night Monk marathons, to mouthing off in choir. To adults, you're a sweet, gentle, kind girl, but I - I know the real you. Yes, you're sweet, gentle, and kind, but you've also got a killer sense of humor, amazing musical talent, and a certain affinity for officers. And yes, you do look like a Celtic Shield Maiden. It's on the record now. ;) Live long and prosper, my friend.
Escapist -Every once in a while, we meet people with whom it is easy to relate. You are one of them. As Cassandra put it, quite aptly, you are a "brother in Christ." You are witty, intelligent, considerate, and pretty awesome. Not to mention imaginative. :P It's easy to talk with you, though it sometimes ranges well into goth-talk. But hey, if you didn't have goth elements, you'd be a very different person indeed. I appreciate your friendship. Thank you.
Jedi Gerbil - I've known you for the last two feet. What has it been, seven years? You were the first homeschooler I ever knew, and that's a good thing. Your sense of humor is amazingly dry, and your wit flows with such panache it's astounding. I can still remember that time we talked about cold fusion for what - 45 minutes? - just to bore our eavesdroppers. While those fun discussions were, well, fun, our serious talks have never failed to show another, more thoughtful side to you. You're a great philosopher, diplomat, and more importantly, a friend. This year, let's practice being extroverts, neh?
Keilah - Let's face it: You're gorgeous - inside and out. I have to admit, you've been a role model for me. Whenever I talk to you, you inspire me with your heart for homemaking, be it cooking, looking after your little siblings, and generally being a Proverbs 31 woman. Your gentle wit and earnest heart are evident in any area you are found, even when cooking for a bunch of 'savages' at a Productive Fellowships. I hope to know you so much better this time next year, and I look forward to continuing our friendship.
Libby - Libby, let's redeem Converse together! You are a ton of fun to be around. From teaching me the basics of football from an opposing team, to wandering the halls of the CMS, we've had some interesting times together. And, of course, the obligatory raves about Chucks. You are ingenious, always coming up with clever, creative, and imaginative ideas and topics. And your paintings really are beautifully introspective.Your art is a true reflection of yourself: introspective, clever, brilliant, and beautiful. Rock on, Libby.
NtropyNcarnate - Bonkers. Batty. Brilliant. Beautiful. Oh, and amazing, alliterative, polyglottal and precious. Melon head, es lusus naturae. Whether you plot in study hall, or run up and down hallways chasing invisible aliens, or sit and translate the Grinchus, or watch Dark Musicals with me, I enjoy every minute of it. And those cookies? Nom nom nom... Your melodramatic, musical, and memorable musings on subjects from Latin horror movies to auto care and linguistics always make my day. And I'm thankful for every minute of our Latin classes, all five years of them.
Ophelia - How exactly does one approach describing Ophelia? There's a certain dash of whimsy, a certain dash of romanticism, and a large dash of fun involved. Cartwheeling at church, having snowball fights, and discussing the relative merits of various female singers, are all memories I've shared with you. You're beautiful, inside and out. You're fun, interesting, smart, and imaginative. I've so enjoyed getting to know you this year. It seems like I've known you forever.
Peach - Peach, you're amazing. You're creative, musical, funny, and pretty awesome to be around. From downing eggnog like whiskey to "Hi, I'm Awkward" conversations, we've had some interesting times. I enjoy how easy you are to talk too, as well as your wisdom. You're beautiful, inside and out. I hope I can see more of you this upcoming year.
Pipsqueak - Pipsqueak, my dear little Hobbit, you're hilarious.You really are. You're teasable, you're lovable, you're hang-out-able, and generally, personable. You're beautiful, Asian (Ow, don't kill me!), and very fun to be around. I love hanging out with you in Biology, and I can't wait for New Year's! Your beautiful personality and smile will be the first thing anyone notices, just asl long as you don't tell them about your love of German Shepherds, leather boots, jacket, and German. Whoops. No, no the pillow! Ouch!
Qwip - I remember when I first joined NCFCA, I saw you at a National Open, and I thought "Wow, that's one of the cool people." Little did I guess that three years later, I'd count you among my close friends. You really have a passion for the ludicrous, and that makes any interactions with you quite interesting. Actually, I really enjoy conversations with you because they can quite literally swing in any direction. You're interesting, clever, considerate, and entertaining (and handsome ;P). Take your pick as to which adjective you prefer.
Specs - Ah Specs, Specs, Specs. You, my friend, are an anamoly - in the best of ways, of course. I can quite honestly say that I know no other conservative, Christian actress who is perfectly at home in front of an audience and groups of hyperactive teenaged speakers. You're someone I've known forever, though that's only been five years. You're stunningly gorgeous, inside and out, and your dry sarcasm compliments your speech. Truly your speech is seasoned with salt. I'd even go so far as to say that you are "as shrewd as a serpent, and as gentle as a dove." Got to love that, right?
Unexpected Song - You're logical, beautiful, unique, well-read, and simply lovely. Whether you're owning the Apologetics event or discussing late night gal topics, you come off as a thoughtful individual. You always provide important and interesting insights, and I value your trust and friendship. It's such a pity we don't see each other often this year, and I look forward to spending time with you this upcoming year. May the light of Heaven shine on your path.
Maybe tomorrow I'll post about what my family did. But for tonight, that's all.
~~MERRY CHRISTMAS!!~~
B
21 December 2009
*big grin*
Haha! I was just told that I was as unpredictable as a bumblebee. It's most gratifying to know I've kept some of my pre-teen design features. =D
20 December 2009
100 posts, wow!
As the title would suggest, this is my 100th post. I seem to have reached the second 50 far faster than I reached the first. *toddles to check records* Indee-de-dee-de-dee-de-dee-dee-dee-do! It took me nine months to get to 50 posts, and two-point-five months to accumulate the second fifty. Wow. And no, I'm not sugar happy, I'm just thinking faster than you.
Actually, I wasn't planning on gloating about my *astonishing* post record. I can happily do that for you in the comments. I was going to tell you about a song. A very important. Or not. But I like it. A lot. So you should too. Maybe. Ish. I feel an odd tingling in my brain. The coffee's affecting me. But I like it.
.. Ahem. Anyways, about six months ago, I rediscovered a Monty Python song. Specifically, I rediscovered "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life." For the few of you who haven't heard it, it's a very happy-go-lucky tune, even including whistling (!), with incredibly morbid lyrics. It's the best example of Lyrical Dissonance I've found in a while. The lyrics are so brilliant, it's hard to choose which verses to highlight...
Here. I think I may have found the best part.
"For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your scene - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your scene - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.
So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath
Life's a piece of ****
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you."
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you."
Unfortunately, there's a mild obscenity in the last (posted) chorus. :( But certainly, this song has helped shake my melodramatic, self-important mood from the summer, because, let's face it, the best teaching song is one with a catchy tune and important/interesting lyrics.
This song, I believe, is a very good way to celebrate my 100th post.
B, who is singing about the bright side of life, and who really needs to step away from the coffee pot.
Yesterday
"Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it seems as if they're here to stay... Oh, I believe in yesterday."
Actually, no... Wait. What am I talking about?
Yesterday, I discovered something: I have finally gained the teenagers' love of sleep. There have been countless articles, studies, and other various forms of adult-inflicted torture examining and explaining that teenagers sleep a lot because they need the sleep. However, for the first four years of my teenagish existence, I didn't really sleep any more than usual. However, since the day I turned 16, I have found myself craving the sweet touch of unconsciousness every night. Now, this may seem a weird discovery to make on a whim, so I shall explain why I finally realized this.
Yesterday morning, I was going to meet a couple friends from speech to discuss speech stuff. For this purpose, I rolled out of bed at 9:30 and trundled off to the meeting place by 10:30. Well, most of the party was there, but for the exception of lovely Lady Specs. She had had a drama rehearsal on Friday night, and her parents decided not to interfere in her sleep schedule yesterday morning. So it was that my companion and I received a call at 10:30 from Specs saying she'd "just woken up." We waited for a half hour, making un/succesful attempts at small talk, and during this interlude, I realized just how precious sleep was to me. I really do like it. So there.
After the speech meeting, which ran a half-hour late because it started a half-hour late, I toddled off to my friend NtropyNcarnate's house for some Latin translating "fun". Our text? "Quomodo Invidiosulus Nomine Grinchus Christi Natalem Abrogaverit." Yup. We got to translate "In what way our envious little friend named the Grinch stole the birth of Christ." The funny thing is that the Latin version is nothing like the original Dr. Seuss book. Well, it took Ntropy and I a full hour and a half to get through this creative Latin text - by "creative Latin" I mean giving five different nouns for "noise," and four different verbs for "sing". But after the long translating ordeal, we still had an hour for Christmas cookies!
I love decorating Christmas cookies. Just thought I'd say that. Anyways, we had quite good fun. Here's some of my favorite cookies we made:
B
Actually, no... Wait. What am I talking about?
Yesterday, I discovered something: I have finally gained the teenagers' love of sleep. There have been countless articles, studies, and other various forms of adult-inflicted torture examining and explaining that teenagers sleep a lot because they need the sleep. However, for the first four years of my teenagish existence, I didn't really sleep any more than usual. However, since the day I turned 16, I have found myself craving the sweet touch of unconsciousness every night. Now, this may seem a weird discovery to make on a whim, so I shall explain why I finally realized this.
Yesterday morning, I was going to meet a couple friends from speech to discuss speech stuff. For this purpose, I rolled out of bed at 9:30 and trundled off to the meeting place by 10:30. Well, most of the party was there, but for the exception of lovely Lady Specs. She had had a drama rehearsal on Friday night, and her parents decided not to interfere in her sleep schedule yesterday morning. So it was that my companion and I received a call at 10:30 from Specs saying she'd "just woken up." We waited for a half hour, making un/succesful attempts at small talk, and during this interlude, I realized just how precious sleep was to me. I really do like it. So there.
After the speech meeting, which ran a half-hour late because it started a half-hour late, I toddled off to my friend NtropyNcarnate's house for some Latin translating "fun". Our text? "Quomodo Invidiosulus Nomine Grinchus Christi Natalem Abrogaverit." Yup. We got to translate "In what way our envious little friend named the Grinch stole the birth of Christ." The funny thing is that the Latin version is nothing like the original Dr. Seuss book. Well, it took Ntropy and I a full hour and a half to get through this creative Latin text - by "creative Latin" I mean giving five different nouns for "noise," and four different verbs for "sing". But after the long translating ordeal, we still had an hour for Christmas cookies!
I love decorating Christmas cookies. Just thought I'd say that. Anyways, we had quite good fun. Here's some of my favorite cookies we made:
This one was Megan's. His smile came out a little crooked, so he looks like he's sneering.
This is one of mine. I was trying for the teapot lady from Beauty and the Beast, but it kind of turned out looking like Jack from Halloween Town turned into a teapot. Or just a skullish teapot.
Also mine. *guilty*. I kind of thought he looked like whats-his-face from the Lion King. You know, the creepy monkey guy. Either that, or he's a juvenile criminal bear whose had his face censored and pixelated for privacy.
These are most of the cookies from when we were done. You can tell Ntropy's cookies because they look artistic. She did the snowman in the lower right corner; the angel just below the center; the green and red candy cane; the tree and the bear near the green and red candy cane; the smiling bell in the top right corner, and a few others. Mine, however, are the angel of many colors, the brown candy cane on the right edge; as well as the flamey colored bell and the butterfly above the bell that looks more like a blob of red and purple sprinkles; and pretty much all of the ones that looked like a mad toddler's play station.
However, this one has to be my favorite one I made yesterday.
I am ashamed to say that I used tweezers to get this angel to resemble a vaguely humanoid thing. Glory and wonder at its amazing goriness.
This was Ntropy's reaction to my bloody angel. Of course, she was just in awe at my enormous creativity. She had a very funny idea of continuing the idea of gory cookies, but I have censored that part of this post for my more sensitive readers. *wink*
And then it was home for more and more schoolwork. This was accomplished with much yawning and longing for my deliciously warm, dim, room. Lovely. On the plus side, I did get a persuasive letter finished yesterday, which I might post tonight/tomorrow.
... Don't you just love long, boring posts about what I did yesterday? I do. :)
... And yes, I am in an exceptionally unusual state of mind. I just thought up another story thingymajig.
18 December 2009
Friends
These past few weeks, I've had a couple imaginary friends following me around. They're not mine - I don't recognize them, or even know their names. But for lack of better monikers, I've called these two Snuffles and Chuckles.
If you've lost a badger with a penchant for melodrama or a psycho clown, please comment below. They are starting to get annoying. But they have been useful - don't get me wrong. I started a club for imaginary friends. If your imaginary friend would like to attend, please have them comment with name, species, and temperament below, and I'll have Snuffles contact them for the first meeting.
B
If you've lost a badger with a penchant for melodrama or a psycho clown, please comment below. They are starting to get annoying. But they have been useful - don't get me wrong. I started a club for imaginary friends. If your imaginary friend would like to attend, please have them comment with name, species, and temperament below, and I'll have Snuffles contact them for the first meeting.
B
12 December 2009
Problematic's Owners Guide and Maintenance Manual
Congratulations on your purchase of the SBM model from SBM&FRIENDS. There is a lifetime guarantee on all parts included, some restrictions apply.
NOTE: The following instructions are for trouble-shooting purposes only. Should anything happen not specified or hinted at in the owner’s manual, contact manufacturers IMMEDIATELY.
MANUFACTURERS: Rainy City Productions, WA
TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS:
SBM (aka “SABAM”, “PROBLEMATIC”, ‘SAM”, “SYLVIA”)
TYPE: Human (female)
PRODUCTION RUN: 9 September, 19XX
HEIGHT: 5’5
WEIGHT: Unspecified
INSTALLATION: Due to the fragile nature of SBM, a special package tracking system is used to update you to their arrival date. Two days before, carefully inspect your house. If there are items you wouldn’t wish a psychotic sociopath to get a hold of, be sure to store them away, as SBM can and will use them.
IDENTIFYING: When the package arrives, do not be alarmed if the contents have settled. This is to be expected. To help with introductions, we have provided a positive identification system.
SBM, upon arrival, will probably say “I’m not a sociopath. I’m an artist!”
If SBM is in her SYLVIA setting, she will say “I can’t trust you to do anything alright.”
NOTE: If SBM is in the SYLVIA setting upon arrival, do not upset her.
ACCESSORIES: All your SBM&FRIENDS come with general accessories, including but not limited to make up, hydrochloric acids, and notebooks. Specific models have special accessories.
SBM:
1. Large violin case and violin
2. Messenger bag and writing materials
3. Converse
4. iPod
5. Black cat (BUTTERCUP)
6. Sabre
7. Fencing boots
8. 3D Goggles
STORAGE: SBM will be fine with any accommodations you may find for her. Be certain it is not an area you mind changes to. Whatever requests she makes in the first three days are guaranteed harmless. After a few days of intense activity, SBM will have transformed her quarters into an artist’s niche. Do not disturb her during this process. When she is done, the room will be hazardous to outsiders over extended periods of time, so it is best just to leave well enough alone. If you should happen to glance inside, don’t be disturbed by the dark furnishings – it is simply SBM’s way of catalyzing her creative processes.
USER PREFERENCES: Your SBM comes with 4 interactive settings.
HOSTILE – SBM will be caustically sarcastic and icy. Tirades and monologues or silence accompany. SBM will revert to HOSTILE when disturbed from an ARTSY setting.
FRIENDLY – Will smile and joke, depending on familiarity with near-by models.
MELANCHOLY – Standard setting. Expect wit, sarcasm, and disturbing and/or creepy aphorisms in this mode. SBM will produce most of her artwork in this setting.
PYSCHOTIC - SBM’s backup setting. Wild hilarity at nothing in particular is to be expected.
NOTE: SBM will revert to PYSCHOTIC if left in FRIENDLY for too long.
SYLVIA – Rainy City Productions is not quite certain what this function does. It shows up in all SBM models, and seems to be accompanied by skinny jeans, haute couture, and an alternate ego.
UNIQUE SETTINGS: Due to the nature of her relationship with other SBM&FRIENDS models, SBM can be triggered into unique settings.
ARSTY – SBM can be forced into this mood by placing her in groups with KK, SPECS, and ASH models from the &FRIENDS expansion pack. SBM will oscillate between frantically talking, thinking, and creating. If no KK, SPECS, or ASH models are present, setting her iPod to the ‘soft’ playlist works with less effective results.
GREGARIOUS – Any expansion model will put SBM into this setting. Tends to talk and smile more often.
AWESOME – SPECS, NTOPY, and THURS models or other models with similar dispositions will make SBM revert to this setting. Accompanied by much dancing to music and wishing for adventures.
WARNING: Under no circumstances give SBM a weapon when she is on this setting. She is extremely dangerous. Rainy City Productions is not responsible for any damage done by such action.
TIRED – Any &FRIENDS model combination will change SBM is she stays around them for long, especially the QWIP model. This setting is particularly entertaining if SBM is TIRED in the midst of FRIENDLY members of the expansion pack.
DEPRESSED – If SBM stays in HOSTILE for long amounts of time, she will revert to DEPRESSED, or if the &FRIENDS expansion pack is suddenly removed. Owners should try to change her setting as quickly as possible.
NOTE: SBM will stay in this setting for long amounts of time after an ARTSY setting. This is normal, but try not to encourage her.
ROMANTIC – This setting has only been triggered once, on accident, and any attempts on the owner’s part to trigger ROMANTIC will be strongly denounced. Rainy City Productions is not responsible for any injury SBM may inflict on you after trying to change her setting to this.
OPERATING PROCEDURE: Your SBM has been programmed to fulfill many roles around the house. The roles she excels in are:
HOME DECORATOR
As you are soon to discover, SBM has an artistic streak. Give her the proper funds and equipment and she will transform your house into a haven. As long as you do nothing to seriously upset her, the result will be quite nice.
SPORTS
SBM is quite fond of sports such as soccer, track, and dancing. If you need an extra player, or are short a partner, she will be happy to help, provided no models decide to tackle her.
CHILDCARE
SBM has been certified through organizations as a babysitter complete with CPR and FIRST AID training. However, her odd sense of humor may make a more appropriate choice for older children. Rainy City Productions is not responsible for the counseling bills of any child left in her care.
MUSICIAN
While SBM is a very musical person, she views her music as deeply personal. She makes a great entertainer when she feels like it, but unless SBM volunteers to do so, any effort to make her play will be foiled.
MAITENANCE
CLEANING:
SBM is perfectly capable of cleaning herself, though she may disappear for an hour at a time and emerge from her room wearing a completely different style. Fear not. This is only part of her continuing quest to define her style.
Once every few months, you will need to take SBM to a hair stylist, as she cannot drive.
RECHARGING:
FOOD – SBM is partially vegetarian, so be certain to provide her with plenty of fruits and proteins. She will need to take supplements in the form of vitamins and specialty foods.
NOTE: SBM is particularly fond of Nutella.
DRINK
SBM is made of 60% water, so allow healthy consumption of water and juices. Liberal amounts of caffeine are allowed when SBM needs an energy lift.
WARNING: Whatever she may say, SBM should not have more than three (3) shots of espresso in one day. If you thought she was bad before the espresso, you have no desire to see her afterwards.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:
Q. Where can I purchase the &FRIENDS extension pack?
A. Go to http://problematicraining.blogspot.com to find the expansion pack to the SBM model. It will be published shortly.
Q. My SBM is shaking all over. Is this a problem?
A. The SBM model likely has consumed too much caffeine on an empty stomach. Either that, or she is in a hilarious mood. She’ll get over it eventually.
Q. My SBM seems to be loosing skin a lot. What’s going on?
A. SBM was manufactured with unique skin. Don’t worry, just supply her with lots of Cortizone cream.
Q. My SBM is awkward and uncoordinated. What am I doing wrong?
A. You SBM is manufactured to be awkward and uncoordinated. No harm is done unless she breaks a bone.
Q. My SBM keeps hurting her feet. What’s up?
A. That is a selling point of the SBM model.
TROUBLESHOOTING
PROBLEM: You SBM is refusing to come out of her room.
SOLUTION: Stock many action/adventure, sci-fi and fantasy books, movies, and comics outside her room. She’ll snap out of it eventually.
PROBLEM: SBM keeps taking walks in the rain. She frequently returns shivering and wet, then catches a cold.
SOLUTION: Point SBM in the direction of the nearest park with a shelter. She’ll sit and journal for the hour she’s gone, and come back considerably drier.
PROBLEM: SBM has been singing ‘Holding Out For a Hero’ for days and will not stop.
SOLUTION: SBM is suffering from wanderlust. Supply her with a credit card and she’ll find an adventure for herself. SBM will return in a few days.
PROBLEM: SBM is talking in gibberish.
SOLUTION: SBM is probably talking in techno-babble, music-babble, or Zulph. Purchase a model with similar linguistic skills and she’ll return to normal.
PROBLEM: SBM keeps wearing oddly captioned t-shirts and converse.
SOLUTION: There is no solution. This quirk is part of what makes SBM a collectable model.
WARRANTY:
Due to SBM’s fickle nature, Rainy City Productions only offers a three year guarantee. Afterwards, SBM is likely to disappear, leaving only with the promise of “You’ll hear about me soon enough.”
NOTE: On the occasion that SBM does not disappear entirely, don’t try to contact her. SBM will contact you on her own time.
FINAL NOTE:
When SBM returns, she’ll have changed for the better, but SBM will still be the same model at heart. You will receive many years of friendship from this good investment.
NOTE: The following instructions are for trouble-shooting purposes only. Should anything happen not specified or hinted at in the owner’s manual, contact manufacturers IMMEDIATELY.
MANUFACTURERS: Rainy City Productions, WA
TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS:
SBM (aka “SABAM”, “PROBLEMATIC”, ‘SAM”, “SYLVIA”)
TYPE: Human (female)
PRODUCTION RUN: 9 September, 19XX
HEIGHT: 5’5
WEIGHT: Unspecified
INSTALLATION: Due to the fragile nature of SBM, a special package tracking system is used to update you to their arrival date. Two days before, carefully inspect your house. If there are items you wouldn’t wish a psychotic sociopath to get a hold of, be sure to store them away, as SBM can and will use them.
IDENTIFYING: When the package arrives, do not be alarmed if the contents have settled. This is to be expected. To help with introductions, we have provided a positive identification system.
SBM, upon arrival, will probably say “I’m not a sociopath. I’m an artist!”
If SBM is in her SYLVIA setting, she will say “I can’t trust you to do anything alright.”
NOTE: If SBM is in the SYLVIA setting upon arrival, do not upset her.
ACCESSORIES: All your SBM&FRIENDS come with general accessories, including but not limited to make up, hydrochloric acids, and notebooks. Specific models have special accessories.
SBM:
1. Large violin case and violin
2. Messenger bag and writing materials
3. Converse
4. iPod
5. Black cat (BUTTERCUP)
6. Sabre
7. Fencing boots
8. 3D Goggles
STORAGE: SBM will be fine with any accommodations you may find for her. Be certain it is not an area you mind changes to. Whatever requests she makes in the first three days are guaranteed harmless. After a few days of intense activity, SBM will have transformed her quarters into an artist’s niche. Do not disturb her during this process. When she is done, the room will be hazardous to outsiders over extended periods of time, so it is best just to leave well enough alone. If you should happen to glance inside, don’t be disturbed by the dark furnishings – it is simply SBM’s way of catalyzing her creative processes.
USER PREFERENCES: Your SBM comes with 4 interactive settings.
HOSTILE – SBM will be caustically sarcastic and icy. Tirades and monologues or silence accompany. SBM will revert to HOSTILE when disturbed from an ARTSY setting.
FRIENDLY – Will smile and joke, depending on familiarity with near-by models.
MELANCHOLY – Standard setting. Expect wit, sarcasm, and disturbing and/or creepy aphorisms in this mode. SBM will produce most of her artwork in this setting.
PYSCHOTIC - SBM’s backup setting. Wild hilarity at nothing in particular is to be expected.
NOTE: SBM will revert to PYSCHOTIC if left in FRIENDLY for too long.
SYLVIA – Rainy City Productions is not quite certain what this function does. It shows up in all SBM models, and seems to be accompanied by skinny jeans, haute couture, and an alternate ego.
UNIQUE SETTINGS: Due to the nature of her relationship with other SBM&FRIENDS models, SBM can be triggered into unique settings.
ARSTY – SBM can be forced into this mood by placing her in groups with KK, SPECS, and ASH models from the &FRIENDS expansion pack. SBM will oscillate between frantically talking, thinking, and creating. If no KK, SPECS, or ASH models are present, setting her iPod to the ‘soft’ playlist works with less effective results.
GREGARIOUS – Any expansion model will put SBM into this setting. Tends to talk and smile more often.
AWESOME – SPECS, NTOPY, and THURS models or other models with similar dispositions will make SBM revert to this setting. Accompanied by much dancing to music and wishing for adventures.
WARNING: Under no circumstances give SBM a weapon when she is on this setting. She is extremely dangerous. Rainy City Productions is not responsible for any damage done by such action.
TIRED – Any &FRIENDS model combination will change SBM is she stays around them for long, especially the QWIP model. This setting is particularly entertaining if SBM is TIRED in the midst of FRIENDLY members of the expansion pack.
DEPRESSED – If SBM stays in HOSTILE for long amounts of time, she will revert to DEPRESSED, or if the &FRIENDS expansion pack is suddenly removed. Owners should try to change her setting as quickly as possible.
NOTE: SBM will stay in this setting for long amounts of time after an ARTSY setting. This is normal, but try not to encourage her.
ROMANTIC – This setting has only been triggered once, on accident, and any attempts on the owner’s part to trigger ROMANTIC will be strongly denounced. Rainy City Productions is not responsible for any injury SBM may inflict on you after trying to change her setting to this.
OPERATING PROCEDURE: Your SBM has been programmed to fulfill many roles around the house. The roles she excels in are:
HOME DECORATOR
As you are soon to discover, SBM has an artistic streak. Give her the proper funds and equipment and she will transform your house into a haven. As long as you do nothing to seriously upset her, the result will be quite nice.
SPORTS
SBM is quite fond of sports such as soccer, track, and dancing. If you need an extra player, or are short a partner, she will be happy to help, provided no models decide to tackle her.
CHILDCARE
SBM has been certified through organizations as a babysitter complete with CPR and FIRST AID training. However, her odd sense of humor may make a more appropriate choice for older children. Rainy City Productions is not responsible for the counseling bills of any child left in her care.
MUSICIAN
While SBM is a very musical person, she views her music as deeply personal. She makes a great entertainer when she feels like it, but unless SBM volunteers to do so, any effort to make her play will be foiled.
MAITENANCE
CLEANING:
SBM is perfectly capable of cleaning herself, though she may disappear for an hour at a time and emerge from her room wearing a completely different style. Fear not. This is only part of her continuing quest to define her style.
Once every few months, you will need to take SBM to a hair stylist, as she cannot drive.
RECHARGING:
FOOD – SBM is partially vegetarian, so be certain to provide her with plenty of fruits and proteins. She will need to take supplements in the form of vitamins and specialty foods.
NOTE: SBM is particularly fond of Nutella.
DRINK
SBM is made of 60% water, so allow healthy consumption of water and juices. Liberal amounts of caffeine are allowed when SBM needs an energy lift.
WARNING: Whatever she may say, SBM should not have more than three (3) shots of espresso in one day. If you thought she was bad before the espresso, you have no desire to see her afterwards.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:
Q. Where can I purchase the &FRIENDS extension pack?
A. Go to http://problematicraining.blogspot.com to find the expansion pack to the SBM model. It will be published shortly.
Q. My SBM is shaking all over. Is this a problem?
A. The SBM model likely has consumed too much caffeine on an empty stomach. Either that, or she is in a hilarious mood. She’ll get over it eventually.
Q. My SBM seems to be loosing skin a lot. What’s going on?
A. SBM was manufactured with unique skin. Don’t worry, just supply her with lots of Cortizone cream.
Q. My SBM is awkward and uncoordinated. What am I doing wrong?
A. You SBM is manufactured to be awkward and uncoordinated. No harm is done unless she breaks a bone.
Q. My SBM keeps hurting her feet. What’s up?
A. That is a selling point of the SBM model.
TROUBLESHOOTING
PROBLEM: You SBM is refusing to come out of her room.
SOLUTION: Stock many action/adventure, sci-fi and fantasy books, movies, and comics outside her room. She’ll snap out of it eventually.
PROBLEM: SBM keeps taking walks in the rain. She frequently returns shivering and wet, then catches a cold.
SOLUTION: Point SBM in the direction of the nearest park with a shelter. She’ll sit and journal for the hour she’s gone, and come back considerably drier.
PROBLEM: SBM has been singing ‘Holding Out For a Hero’ for days and will not stop.
SOLUTION: SBM is suffering from wanderlust. Supply her with a credit card and she’ll find an adventure for herself. SBM will return in a few days.
PROBLEM: SBM is talking in gibberish.
SOLUTION: SBM is probably talking in techno-babble, music-babble, or Zulph. Purchase a model with similar linguistic skills and she’ll return to normal.
PROBLEM: SBM keeps wearing oddly captioned t-shirts and converse.
SOLUTION: There is no solution. This quirk is part of what makes SBM a collectable model.
WARRANTY:
Due to SBM’s fickle nature, Rainy City Productions only offers a three year guarantee. Afterwards, SBM is likely to disappear, leaving only with the promise of “You’ll hear about me soon enough.”
NOTE: On the occasion that SBM does not disappear entirely, don’t try to contact her. SBM will contact you on her own time.
FINAL NOTE:
When SBM returns, she’ll have changed for the better, but SBM will still be the same model at heart. You will receive many years of friendship from this good investment.
09 December 2009
Adventure
I must say, the timing for today was exquisite. I was still in the throws of recklessness, wishing for an adventure, when one came to me.
Today, I went to Coop B to hang out at lunch. Things were perfectly normal, but as I walked Lady Specs to her class, we were suddenly transported through a time-vortex into a semi-dimension. We accidentally altered one part of this not-quite-alternate world, but when we found the vortex shift manipulator and pulled the psychic switch, we found nothing wrong with the world. However, when I went to find my faithful companion, NtropyNcarnate, I discovered that the alteration I had made in the semi-dimension had let the foul scum, Qwztlctoal, through into this universe. I could not find Ntropy anywhere, so I proceeded to scour the building for her, avoiding the aliens on my way. The odd thing was, all the helpless humans could not see the Qwztlctoal at all, but they could see my duck-and-cover manovuers, leading to some hurried interviews as to "why I was being so juvenile".
Finally, I found Ntropy. She could see the devouring scourge of the universe, and agreed that something must be done before they devoured humanity. Already, students were disappearing into their magnificent gullets. And so, Ntropy and I swept through the building like avenging time travelers of doom, and saved the universe. All the thanks we got were the disapproving looks of unimaginative pre-teens, but I would do anything to save this unique race.
B
Today, I went to Coop B to hang out at lunch. Things were perfectly normal, but as I walked Lady Specs to her class, we were suddenly transported through a time-vortex into a semi-dimension. We accidentally altered one part of this not-quite-alternate world, but when we found the vortex shift manipulator and pulled the psychic switch, we found nothing wrong with the world. However, when I went to find my faithful companion, NtropyNcarnate, I discovered that the alteration I had made in the semi-dimension had let the foul scum, Qwztlctoal, through into this universe. I could not find Ntropy anywhere, so I proceeded to scour the building for her, avoiding the aliens on my way. The odd thing was, all the helpless humans could not see the Qwztlctoal at all, but they could see my duck-and-cover manovuers, leading to some hurried interviews as to "why I was being so juvenile".
Finally, I found Ntropy. She could see the devouring scourge of the universe, and agreed that something must be done before they devoured humanity. Already, students were disappearing into their magnificent gullets. And so, Ntropy and I swept through the building like avenging time travelers of doom, and saved the universe. All the thanks we got were the disapproving looks of unimaginative pre-teens, but I would do anything to save this unique race.
B
25 November 2009
Haha!
It's good to know I've still got a knack for inflicting pain on myself. After the six months since I broke my toes, I was getting a little worried, not to mention the six weeks since I drew blood with plastic blocks. So you can guess my pleasure when I proved that I am still perfectly capable of maiming myself.
I started out by taking out my knee at Costco when a carton of juice I was holding got a life of its own and attacked me.
The knee turned vicious, and during the unloading process gave out just when I was going down our concrete steps. I found my face only narrowly escaping a kiss from the ground, but on the plus side, the offending knee was punished, leaking mine very life fluid onto the ground. The palms were also roughed up in my life-or-death fight with the stairs, and they are taking vengeance even as I type.
They say that everyone has a special gifting. Mine must be hurting myself. How else can I explain this 'awkward stage' that's been ongoing for fifteen years? (You can't really count the year I was not autonomously mobile)
And there's yet another incredibly self-centered post.
B
I started out by taking out my knee at Costco when a carton of juice I was holding got a life of its own and attacked me.
The knee turned vicious, and during the unloading process gave out just when I was going down our concrete steps. I found my face only narrowly escaping a kiss from the ground, but on the plus side, the offending knee was punished, leaking mine very life fluid onto the ground. The palms were also roughed up in my life-or-death fight with the stairs, and they are taking vengeance even as I type.
They say that everyone has a special gifting. Mine must be hurting myself. How else can I explain this 'awkward stage' that's been ongoing for fifteen years? (You can't really count the year I was not autonomously mobile)
And there's yet another incredibly self-centered post.
B
12 November 2009
Gummy Bear Theology
I'm a terrible procrastinator when it comes to posting ideas. My friend Peach and I were talking about how you can find answers about Christianity in anything. This was a month and a half ago. Today, I present for your reading enjoyment our musings on Gummy Bears and Theology.
There are four ways in which Gummy Bears exemplify teachings of Christianity. First of all, you will notice that they are transparent. We are told to be honest multiple times in the Bible, and so, Christians should be transparent like the Gummy Bear.
Next, Gummy Bears are malleable. Like yummy Potter's Clay. Need we say more?
You will then observe that it is very easy to rip off Gummy Bears' heads. This shows that we're all mortal, and awfully easy to kill.
Finally, Gummy Bears come in so many flavors and colors - white, green, red, yellow, orange... Just like all the races of humans on this earth. The kingdom of God is not made of one nationality. It's a grab bag, just like a Gummy Bear bag.
Thanks all for reading.
Peach and B
There are four ways in which Gummy Bears exemplify teachings of Christianity. First of all, you will notice that they are transparent. We are told to be honest multiple times in the Bible, and so, Christians should be transparent like the Gummy Bear.
Next, Gummy Bears are malleable. Like yummy Potter's Clay. Need we say more?
You will then observe that it is very easy to rip off Gummy Bears' heads. This shows that we're all mortal, and awfully easy to kill.
Finally, Gummy Bears come in so many flavors and colors - white, green, red, yellow, orange... Just like all the races of humans on this earth. The kingdom of God is not made of one nationality. It's a grab bag, just like a Gummy Bear bag.
Thanks all for reading.
Peach and B
11 November 2009
And so she dances...
I went on a waltz yesterday. Yes, a waltz. It was raining outside (no, really?) and I just couldn't bear to study, so I went waltzing with my visibly-challenged partner, Ignatius. :)
The good part about this is that it seems to have snapped me out of it. Posting can resume as normal.
The good part about this is that it seems to have snapped me out of it. Posting can resume as normal.
04 November 2009
Tee-hee
I was going through my picture archives today, and I rediscovered some 'priceless' photos of me. Being the thick-skinned person that I am (sarcasm intended), I thought it would be a capital idea to share the best of them on my blog. Because we all know how much I enjoy embarrassing myself in public.
This first one isn't really embarrassing. It's just showing off Ignatius, my violin.
However, this one is fairly unusual. It all happened when my chemistry teacher last year sent me home with hydrochloric and sulfuric acids, and I was play- um, scientifically experimenting with them. I realized that all I needed to add was the top hat and the great coat, and I'd look like a bona fide mad scientist.
This is the more dignified mad scientist. More "gentlewoman researcher" than "Phantom of the science lab."
Right before a symphony concert, in my squirrel suit.
This is me being a closet thespian with Abby. We did the tea scene from the Importance of Being Ernest. I was the whatsername from the city.
Teenage mutant ninja friends. Notice the amazing war paint on our faces.
Never fear! It's Super-Doctor here to save the world with her scientifically awesome cane!
Mhmm. I know what you're thinking. "Oh yeah, we really wanted to see pictures of Problematic goofing around with a camera." Well, tough. Build a bridge, get over it, and burn the bridge. Feel better? Good.
B
Mhmm. I know what you're thinking. "Oh yeah, we really wanted to see pictures of Problematic goofing around with a camera." Well, tough. Build a bridge, get over it, and burn the bridge. Feel better? Good.
B
25 October 2009
The Merry Men and Robin Hood
This week, in case you didn't know, has been designated by some blogger as "Maid Marian Fashion Week." Which is why, in case you've been paying attention, there are quite a few Robin Hood related posts on the internet. As a loyal Robin Hood fan, of course I felt the urge to blog about his lady love. In all actuality, I didn't. But the fact remains: This post is - and will be - devoted to a topic pertaining to Maid Marian.
Something about heroics intrinsically captures human imagination. Maybe disbelief is a factor - disbelief that another person is willing to risk their life for a stranger. Or perhaps it's admiration - of the hero's bravery, courage, strength, or other attribute. Well, whatever it is, heroes attract our imagination, and, by corollary, we are attracted to the ones loved by heroes.
For instance, numerous stories, paintings, etc. have been dedicated to Maid Marian, Robin Hood's romantic interest. This post is another example.
I've always imagined Marian a kind of elf. As in, straight from Middle Earth. In fact, when the Lord of the Rings came out, I saw Galadriel and thought "Wow, she's like Maid Marian, only legal!" Everyone seems to think that Marian wore boots. In my extremely humble opinion, she went barefoot. And she was kind of like a ninja - assassin.
Imagine it. The scene cuts to Sherwood Forest, where a road winds through a shadowed grove of trees. It is dusk, and a group of nobles are traveling quickly, eager to get home for the evening. One nervously glances toward the shadows in the roots of the trees, but sees nothing. The perspective changes, and Marian is crouching behind the tree, readying her medieval-English versions of ninja stars. The nobles are startled as Robin Hood and twenty-odd men stop the path in front of them. Marian smiles as Robin launches into the usual rot about rich people sapping the lifeblood of the poor, and she slips from behind the trees, and climbs onto the bottom of the carriage, clinging upside down as the cavalcade starts again. Foolish Robin. If only he didn't try so hard, he might be a half-good outlaw.
Later that night, she sneaks into the Sheriff's castle, and as he sleeps, she carefully places her black-mail letter on his headboard, held in place by a wickedly sharp ninja star.
I was kidding about the ninja part. That would be a little weird. But the fact remains, I always think of Marian as the one caring for the plants of the forest, like an elf. Ah well, it's too bad we'll never really know.
But hey! It's fun imagining it.
B, who is feeling very silly
Something about heroics intrinsically captures human imagination. Maybe disbelief is a factor - disbelief that another person is willing to risk their life for a stranger. Or perhaps it's admiration - of the hero's bravery, courage, strength, or other attribute. Well, whatever it is, heroes attract our imagination, and, by corollary, we are attracted to the ones loved by heroes.
For instance, numerous stories, paintings, etc. have been dedicated to Maid Marian, Robin Hood's romantic interest. This post is another example.
I've always imagined Marian a kind of elf. As in, straight from Middle Earth. In fact, when the Lord of the Rings came out, I saw Galadriel and thought "Wow, she's like Maid Marian, only legal!" Everyone seems to think that Marian wore boots. In my extremely humble opinion, she went barefoot. And she was kind of like a ninja - assassin.
Imagine it. The scene cuts to Sherwood Forest, where a road winds through a shadowed grove of trees. It is dusk, and a group of nobles are traveling quickly, eager to get home for the evening. One nervously glances toward the shadows in the roots of the trees, but sees nothing. The perspective changes, and Marian is crouching behind the tree, readying her medieval-English versions of ninja stars. The nobles are startled as Robin Hood and twenty-odd men stop the path in front of them. Marian smiles as Robin launches into the usual rot about rich people sapping the lifeblood of the poor, and she slips from behind the trees, and climbs onto the bottom of the carriage, clinging upside down as the cavalcade starts again. Foolish Robin. If only he didn't try so hard, he might be a half-good outlaw.
Later that night, she sneaks into the Sheriff's castle, and as he sleeps, she carefully places her black-mail letter on his headboard, held in place by a wickedly sharp ninja star.
I was kidding about the ninja part. That would be a little weird. But the fact remains, I always think of Marian as the one caring for the plants of the forest, like an elf. Ah well, it's too bad we'll never really know.
But hey! It's fun imagining it.
B, who is feeling very silly
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